Friday, November 4, 2011

How not to itch!


Itching is my enemy! It will bring me down into the depths of itch h-e-double toothpicks. I’ll get all upset. I’ll cry, and then because the itching feels so good and I am super frustrated, I will itch until it bleeds. Then I will suffer for a few more weeks while it heals and hope that I do not get a secondary staph infection from so much itching. Then the vicious cycle will repeat itself over and over again. Discomfort and hopelessness, itch until it hurts, regret it and be extra uncomfortable, hope and hopelessness. It’s the story of the last 8 years or so of my life. If the Middle East terrorists had my vasculitis, we’d have no trouble putting them in their place!! This misery is something I would have a hard time wishing on my worst enemy because it truly has been a torture test.

How not to itch?? Well, having a bit of hope goes a long way towards giving you the motivation to even desire not to itch. When you are in survival mode and lose hope you think of all kinds of unconventional ways to relieve yourself of the itching burden and just scratch like there is no tomorrow. I’ve had a love-hate relationship with God about this whole thing. If I am not supposed to have to bear more than I am able, why does this keep happening to me? I am slowly being driven crazy and losing my faith…but that is more reason to grow more faith and endure to the end. It is a rotten dilemma sometimes. Now I can say the hate has subsided and I have more hope but don’t ask me about it on an especially itchy day!!

How not to itch……how not to get a secondary infection from your itching…take a bath with vinegar in the water, take a bath with ½ cup of bleach in the water and soak until you are wrinkly. Yes I bleach myself a few times a week! Get some Vanicream, some sort of eczema crème, non irritating crème for sensitive skin, and slather it on morning and evening. If your crème is in a tub use plastic spoons to get some of it out. DO NOT stick your staph laden fingers in the tub or you will have a recipe for torture next time you use it as the staph will quickly multiply and grace your skin with their irritating presence once again. Use some clean socks as mitts and cover your hands when you go to bed so you can’t itch while you are laying there in bed. Cut down all your fingernails so they are less dangerous to your skin if you do happen to absent mindedly do a bit of itching. Beautify your freshly cut nails with a manicure and polish so you are motivated not to ruin it if you itch!! Remember your nails are not weapons of mass destruction, they are an asset to your beauty, lol!!!!

Change your bath towel every time you use it, and never, never, use it after you have dried your staph ridden footsies! No matter how much you lather them up and clean them, they are still filled with nasty staph buggers waiting to wreak havoc on your itch damaged skin. Normally you would be able to fight the staph off, but when the docs are suppressing your immune system because of vasculitis it’s a different story and you are vulnerable. Why do feet stink so? Well, that is the smell of staph, I worked in a microbiology lab for 12 years and I know the smell of a petrie dish full of staph better than your average person!

Lastly, don’t let your Chihuahua, loving as she might be, lick you up and down where you have been itching!!!!! You might think it is cute that she is so affectionate and is grooming you but…she really has a taste for your blood…mohaahaahaaa!

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